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THE TEN SPOT: a trick-friendly bachelor pad

you’ve achieved the goal. a member of the go squad is at your place, politely waiting for you to sack up and move the party to the poundtown express. then you remember you haven’t done laundry in a month, the shower looks like something died in it, and you literally have one beer and a half-eaten block of cheese in your fridge.

nothing kills a lady boner faster than walking into a dude’s apartment and realizing that not only did she go home with a random, but he also lives in a meth lab. 

the TEN SPOT is the starter kit. the ten essentials every guy needs to, at the very least, not freak her out.

TOWELS: if you’re lucky enough to have a linen closet, congrats. but that’s way too far of a trek if you have to clean up any, ahem, messes a little closer to the action. classic Pendleton Navajo print towels are heavy weight, so they won’t be soaked through when wet. 

UNISEX SHOWER GEAR: call us crazy, but most girls don’t want to smell like axe body wash. plus, your regular man potions are drying and far too intense for her delicate dermis. we love Kiehl’s Original Musk shower gel because the subtle, heady scent will remind her of your tryst long after she leaves your crib.

DECOR: while you might describe your bare walls as “minimalist” she’ll get more of a “insane asylum meets american psycho” vibe. if you have a passion (please, acquire a passion), let it show. geeking over harry potter can be endearing, and this Hogwarts Pennant print will let her know without you even having to pull out your wand. #pause

COFFEE MAKER: well, she slept over. pro: morning sesh imminent. con: the nearest starbucks is a good mile away, and would require putting pants on. an easy to use K-Mix 5-cup coffee maker not only makes you her hero the morning after, but is kind of an adult essential. even if jobless schmuck is a more accurate description than adult.

TOOTHBRUSHES: if last night your go-to was something like “i love your smile” then you better believe she’s brushing those pearly whites often and feverishly. help a sister out and keep a stock of CLEAN toothbrushes. these are great because you can color coordinate tricks with their corresponding pantone shade.

MINTS: another bedside must-have. stick to classic flavors like cinnamon and spearmint. Altoids are preferable because the freshness lasts, and we all know whiskey doesn’t taste as good the next day. keep the tins to store receipts, condoms, matches, narcotics…you name it.

LUBRICATION: alright, this is a tough one. sometimes, you just need it. and it can be fun. but there is nothing worse than reaching for a dude’s lube and it’s a. greasy to the touch, b. is called “crotch rocket” or something or c. big enough to serve as lighting fluid for the whole apartment. 

CANDLE(S): the lights on vs. lights off argument has been going on since cavemen first tried to get it in with the cave ladies. in fact, we hear that’s why fire was invented. this Love Nature NYC soy variety smells like fresh-cut spruce, which will remind her of christmas morning, but is masculine enough to stock in your space.

SIGNATURE DRINK: the elusive nightcap. it’s the perfect way to get her back to your spot, but make sure it’s worth her while. they sell bud light everywhere. blow her mind with say, a “champagne” cocktail. Coppola Sofia Blanc de Blancs is cheap enough to always have chilled. 

STAIN-FREE SHEETS: we know you’re not changing ‘em for every trick, but nothing cuts a night short like her noticing those mystery stains. the higher the thread count, the easier they are to keep clean. plus organic cotton at 300+ feels great on bare skin. also, keep it simple. stripes, plaid, and solids are always a win.